First Day of Kindergarten or Yep, I Cried

As my Facebook status read this morning, “Yep, I cried.”  Why?  Because today was Bean’s first day of Kindergarten!  So begins her road to regular school.

We attended orientation yesterday so we could all meet her new teacher and tour the school.  It’s such a big school for my little baby to go to.  Yes, I understand she’s NOT a baby.  I am reminded of that every day.  But she is my baby and this is a whole new world to her (and to us).  It’s a new school, new teachers, new classmates.  No one from her preschool is going to this school with her.

She was a little nervous about that.  She has alternated between excited, nervous, curious, and scared.  She was always excited to wear her new clothes but not so excited to leave her preschool teacher.  She was nervous because no one else that she knew goes there.  She said to me last night as we tucked her in “Mommy, what if no one sits with me at lunch?”

I teared up.  These are the things that scare me so much.  I want her to make lots of friends and to be accepted and to feel comfortable at her new school.  I would absolutely hate it if when I pick her up tonight she says she hated it and doesn’t want to go back.

So my first thought was to try and make a joke ‘cause, you know, that’s what I do.  I almost said to her “well that will just mean you can fart and no one will say a word”.  I chose instead to tell her that I really doubted that would happen and that I thought her whole class would probably sit together at lunch.  I hope, hope, hope that’s true.

She has been curious, too, which I loved to see.  During orientation, we took her into the school library.  She looked at Hubz and said “you mean they don’t have to drive you to the library?” And she was of course very curious about the playgrounds, too.

And she’s also been scared a little.  “What if I forget my teacher’s name?”, “what if I can’t reach something?”, “what if you forget to pick me up?”.  What?  That one has never happened!  I just want that on the record.  And I’ll admit I have been scared, too.  What if she can’t find her classroom after she gets off the bus?  What if she gets hungry during After School?  What if?  What if?

Again, she’s my baby.  I’m her momma.  I’m supposed to protect her.  I’m Mama Bear.  But I do know that every cub has to go out into the world one day on their own.  So I will try to loosen up and let her go because I know that this is just one step in her journey to her own life completely separate from any I set up for her, any I sign her up for, and any I plan for her.  It’s just one step and I’ve got to chill out and let her make it and pray that she finds her footing - on her own.

Did I make you cry?  Did I make you tear up?  Hopefully these pictures will help to make those teary eyes dry up.  They almost did for me.

*We used this printable from LittleMonkeyPrintables.