Craptastical

Today was Seuss Day at Bean's school to celebrate Dr. Seuss' birthday.  (Happy Birthday!)

They let the kids come dressed as their favorite Seuss character.

What's the first thing you do when you need to make your kid a costume?  Spend hours on Pinterest trying to figure out what to make.

I will say that this time I actually tried to get out of the whole costume making situation.  I called Party City to see if they had any left over ones from Halloween.  The very nice man on the phone ruined my day by saying they were all sold out.  What the crap, Party City?  Don't you know the only reason you are in business any other month besides October is to save a mom from having to make a costume?  Y'all need to rethink your business structure is all I'm saying.

Anyhoo...since I was stuck and had to make our own, back to Pinterest I went.  Pinterest should have a new service of finding someone to make all the crap you pin for you.  (I just became a millionaire right there with that idea.  I need to call Pinterest!)

Anyhoo...x2...I drug Bean to four stores trying to find something to use for a costume.  I had hoped she go for my idea of using the book Ten Apples Up On Top so I could just hot glue some dang plastic apples to a headband and be done with it.  Bean, evidently, is not into taking the easy way out.

She wanted to be Thing 1.  Possibly Thing 2.  She was undecided.

We found a red shirt and some fabric paint.  Great.  Costume done!

"No Mommy, I need blue hair."

"Give it a few years, kid."

"Mommy, the Things have blue hair."  Back to Pinterest.

Okay, I can make a yarn wig.  Seems easy enough.  I found some really cool Electric Blue yarn and but then could not find a tobagggon/tobaggen/ tobbagen/a hat.  I couldn't find a hat.  I called Hubz and he didn't think he had one that would fit.  The ones we have at home that Bean wears are pink and too damned cute to be covered up with ugly blue yarn.  Duh!

Do y'all know how hard it is to find a winter hat in Georgia in March?  Ummmhmmm.  Hubz told me I could probably find one at a convenience store but I'm sorry, I'm might be from the South, I might be slightly redneckish, but I am not buying articles of clothing in a gas station.  Not doing it.

So I found this felt cap thingie in Michael's and thought to myself..."this is the next big thing on Pinterest right here!"  I was so proud of myself.  Really, y'all.  I thought I had found my chance to be a Pinterest darling with everyone in the world repinning my creation.

I wished I would have taken a picture of this said felt thingie before I attached the yarn but I was in such a hurry to get it done that I forgot.  (That's not something Pinterest darlings do.)

But it looked like this



except beige, shaped like a head and ugly.  It actually looked like a felt yarmalele or whatever it is that the Jewish folk wear.

Only (other) problem was that you can't poke a crochet needle (not that I had one anyways) through it to attach the yarn.  That's okay cause I got a hot glue gun and that thing will attach anything to anything.

Oh, yeah, there was (at least) one other problem.  Bean fell asleep before I got to put this felt thingie on her head to measure it all.

Measurements!  Ha!  Who needs them?  (Pinterest darlings do.)

So I cut the yarn and made my little hair bundles.  I glued those suckers on and my part of the project was done.  It looked cute...to me...kinda like a really ugly baby looks to its loving mother.  Whatevs.

Once Hubz got home I told him his part of the costume was waiting for him on the kitchen table.  Hubz has a secret.  He is crafty.  No matter what he might have said in the past to deny it, he has talent.  He can draw and paint.  I'm not jealous of that talent.  Not really.  Not too much anyways.  What bothers me the most is why aren't we using this talent to allow me to live in the lifestyle I'd like to become accustomed to?  I don't get it.

Hubz sat down and got to work.  I showed him a picture of the Thing 1 logo.



He freehand painted this on Bean's tshirt.  I stood watching.  Not hating.

So here are our completed projects.

Here is Hubz' hand painted tshirt.

Here is my beautiful blue yarn wig.

What?

Why are you laughing?

It's beautiful!  Stop laughing.

Okay, okay.  It looks like a pile of blue hairy poo.  I get it.

I really just toned down my crafty wonderfulness so that I could give Hubz a chance to shine.

I did!  Really!  Stop laughing.

There was a(nother) problem though.  This morning when I tried to put the wig on Bean, it sat only on the top crown of her head.  The bangs stopped at the TOP of her head.  It looked like she had a big blue hairy pile of poo on top of her head.  I gave in and tried to rip off the yarn and re-hot-glue it to the top of one of the really cute hats that fit Bean.

This yarn wasn't coming off that yarmalele.  I cut away the parts of the felt that weren't attached and pinned it to the top of one of her hats.  Still looked like a hairy pile of poo but she was a little happier with it.  Then I hear "Daddy should have made it".

Crushed I tell you!  Crushed!

I'd love to share a picture of Little Miss Craft Critic with you but by this time the school bus was rolling down our road and I still had on my sock monkey PJs.  I haven't completely Wal-Marted myself out yet so wouldn't walk her down to the street in my PJs.  I watched from the front door as this little electric blue poo head ran to the bus.