Gone Fishin'

My husband loves to fish. I knew this when I married him. I do not love to fish. Maybe if it were easier to catch those boogers, I'd like it. But I don't have the patience to sit there waiting. And frankly, not to be too gross here, but I've seen a fish brain. I'm not impressed. I'd like to think I could outsmart one without having to spend enormous amounts of time trying to figure out which color plastic wormy thing they prefer or whichaway to jiggle my line to attract them. I didn't put that much effort into landing Hubz and he's not scaly. Well, not all the time anyways.

Hubz hasn't been able to go fishing very much for a couple of years now. Of course, this lack of actual fishing hasn't stopped his purchasing of fishing equipment. He has a collection of bags with fishing paraphernalia in them from Bass Pro Shops and WalMart all over the place. Of course, the bags, or the stuff in them, haven't been looked at, moved, or let alone used but these bags sitting around make him feel all safe and warm inside, I guess.

Anyways, last week I started hearing talk about a great fishing extravaganza with "the guys" scheduled for this past Saturday. [When I hear the phrase "the guys", my eyes do this automatic roll. I can't help it. It's involuntary. I digress.]

You would have thought Christmas was about to come. Normally laid-back Hubz got all kinds of antsy pantsy. He could not wait. He couldn't concentrate. He couldn't complete sentences. He was like a puppy dancing around chasing his own tail.

Hubz went and bought some parts for his dad's boat, some tires for the boat trailer (where's this money coming from???), went online and purchased his fishing license (and hunting license cause you might as well kill two birds with one stone, right?), knocked the dust off his two tackle boxes, moved some of these collected bags around the house, bagged up about 12 fishing poles/rods/thingamajigs (even though the man only has two hands), checked, double and triple checked the boat registration, left the house before 9am on Saturday (I have to threaten violence to get him out of bed that early on the weekends) only to return at almost midnight that night. All of these grand preparations took place and here is a picture of the fruits of his labor:

*I am told this picture is a joke picture between "the guys". That very well may be, but if so, he let it fall into the hands of the wrong party, namely me.

Fight for the Fannies: China Cafe Waikiki, Peachtree City, GA

I have decided that there should be an event in the Olympics for diaper changing.  If you’ve ever had to change the diaper of a squirmy jelly-bodied toddler, you know what I mean.  Now, just imagine having to do this in a public restroom WITH NO CHANGING TABLE!!!

That’s right folks, it’s time for another episode of Fight for the Fannies.  This episode brings us to a small little Chinese restaurant in Peachtree City, Georgia - home of the planned community and golf courses, golf courses and oh yeah, golf courses.  The restaurant in violation of the changing table ordinance enforced here on Pinkie and the Bean is China Café.  This used to be known as China Café 9, but now it’s called China Café Waikiki. (I have no clue.  Maybe they are trying to tell folks that the changing table is in Waikiki, I don’t know.)

So let me paint the picture for you of my latest entry into Olympic Diaper Changing.  I take the Bean into the ladies room.  This is one of those one room bathrooms.  You know, you open the door and there is a toilet, a trashcan, a sink and well...that’s it.  The toilet has no lid on it.  I mean, what was I expecting...if they don’t have a changing table, do you think they are gonna spring for a toilet lid, too???  Duh!  So I’m standing there trying to figure out my best course of action.  The first one that came to mind was to go back out to the register counter and plop Bean on the top of that and change her right there in front of the host.  But I hadn’t gotten my food yet, and I’ve seen the movie Waiting..., so I figured I’d play it safe this time.

And this might be TMI - Too Much Information - but it is part of the story, so I’ll apologize in advance for where I’m about to go with this.  But ever since I was pregnant and even after having the Bean, I can be fine, no bladder alerts or anything, UNTIL I see a toilet.  Then, I got to go right then.  Immediately.  Pronto!  I don’t understand that one, either.

So, there’s a tall trashcan in one corner of the small bathroom, a toilet in another corner and a sink right next to it.  Then you have the door handle that is one of those lever-type handles that all you have to do is press or pull down on it and it opens.  Bean has made friends with each one of these items recently.  She loves to play in the trashcan, loves to wash her hands in the toilet bowl and has recently learned that she can open doors with these types of handles cause the builder of Nanny’s house never considered a toddler like Bean when they installed those door handles on all of her doors in her home.  Sadly though, Bean has not yet learned the meaning behind “stand still”.  So as soon as I see the toilet, I immediately start doing the “pee-pee dance” and am trying to figure out what I should do with Bean while I go potty.

I stood her in the middle of the floor and got myself ready to “hover”.  You know what I mean, ladies.  But there must be some type of gravitational pull between a toddler and all things “off limits” cause as soon as I let her hand go, she is pulled towards the trash can.  I grab her and get her back to the center of the room.  That one wasn’t so bad, but then she takes off to the door handle.  I didn’t know how close I was to becoming the evening’s entertainment at ‘ole China Café, so I grabbed her other arm and pulled her back, almost losing my balance from the hover.  Then she realizes “oh, look what Mommy is doing.  Wait there’s some space in between Mommy and the potty...hmmm...”  I had to make a split second decision here.  Either I could save the hover and yank Bean back from the waterfall she thinks she sees and can play in or I take a chance and go commando on a public toilet seat to keep my kid’s hands out of the toilet.  I take the hit.  That’s right, I threw myself on the grenade.  Full force, too.

By now, I’m infected with the cooties of God only knows what and I still haven’t solved the one problem I set out to when I came in the room to begin with.  I get the Bean up on my lap, while I am still indisposed, and contort my upper body around so that I can grab the diaper and the wipes, almost dropping said clean, new diaper on the bathroom floor.

So this is the picture...I’m sitting on the toilet with my pants down around my ankles, I’ve got a half naked toddler on my lap that is trying her best to wiggle herself to freedom, and a diaper that I am juggling off the tips of my fingers trying to keep it off the floor.

The force was with me cause I never dropped the kid, the diaper, or my mind.  I finally got Bean put back together and put one hand on top of her head trying to keep her in one place while I finished putting myself back together.  It was quite a sight let me tell you.  And then I get back out to the table and my husband just looks at me and says “Gosh, what took so long?”
He came closer than he knows to getting his eye dotted right then and there.

Needless to say, this whole performance could have been prevented to begin with if the wonderful owners at China Café in Kedron Village would have installed a changing table for their patrons.  But I never got to tell the manager about my experience and recommend that a changing table be installed because shortly after returning to the table, Bean decided she wasn’t interested in the Olympics any longer. [That’s sooo two minutes ago, Mom!]  She now wants to try out for the Opera.  She proceeded to put on her best screaming singing performance for the whole restaurant.  Sadly, the performance was cut short by a mother who is not an Opera fan in the least and as soon as Bean and Mommy went out the front door while Daddy got to finish his meal, Bean got stage fright and the performance was quickly canceled.  Isn’t that weird how that happens?

Fight for the Fannies Offender:

China Cafe Waikiki.
1019 Peachtree Pky N
Peachtree City, GA 30269
http://sushichinacafe.com/
No changing table in the ladies' room.

The First Tantrum

I don't think I'm ready for this and I know I probably didn't handle it right but I was so shocked my sweet little innocent child could act this way that I think my brain shut down for a minute.

Bean loves to go outside, doesn't matter what the temperature is, day or night, it doesn’t matter.  I don’t understand this fascination as “outside” is where the bugs and critters are and that’s probably why I am so freaking white but that’s another post for another time.

Anyways, Hubz and I were outside last night after we got home from work and Bean was walking all over having a great time.  I decided to go in to start dinner and figured I’d take her in with me so that my husband could finish piddling around in the yard.  So I take her hand and start towards the house.  She snatched her hand out of mine (what?) and took off in the other direction.  After I caught her, I picked her up, or tried to.  She has learned to do the “jelly body” thing where all of her bones suddenly disappear or something and she slumps down on the ground.  I get her up and as soon as I get her in the house and shut the door, she does the jelly body thing again and slumps on the floor and starts wailing.  Just staring at me wailing her head off.  I decide to let her have at it and I walk into the kitchen.  She gets up and zombie walks into the kitchen crying her head off all the way.  Then she walks up to me and attaches herself to my leg and just keeps on crying and screaming and begging me with her eyes.  She wants back outside.

I am still trying to ignore it but my patience was nowhere to be found so I caved.  Yep, I did.  I picked her up and took her back outside to Daddy.  And wouldn’t you know it, as soon as we stepped outside, my sweet innocent child returned and she was all happy and smiling and saying “hey” to all the trees.  I took her to Daddy and told him to deal with it cause I had to make dinner.  Awhile later, they come back inside and she is walking in with a big ole smile on her face just loving life.  I thought “you little brat”.

Have you seen your child’s alien side yet and if so, how do you deal with these tantrums?  I’ve never been around kids much and sometimes I don’t realize how smart she already is and then other times I give her too much credit and expect her to act much older than she is.

Please pray for Kayleigh

I have been following this blog for a few months now - Kayleigh's Story.  This little angel has been fighting for her life from the time she was born.  She just had surgery last week and has taken a turn for the worse.  Please pray for her and her family.  I have just read their latest posts and am just overwhelmed with despair and am crying.  But I know that only God can help this little girl and she needs our prayers for him to hear.  Please, if you are the praying kind, please add her to your prayer list.  She is so precious.

Overheard pearls

Sometimes when you're out and about, you can overhear some pretty amazing things.  Most of the time what you overhear is gossip or trash talking or confrontations.  But this weekend I got to listen in on an unique conversation between a Dad and his two daughters.  I was really touched by these words and I hope you are, too.

Little Girl:  Daddy, is Jesus alive or is he dead?

Daddy:  [After a pondering second or two.]  Well, he's both.  He's alive and he's dead.

Little Girl:  That's kinda cool.

Daddy:  Yes, it really is.

Then later on, I heard this man telling someone that his girls had gotten a puppy a few months back but it recently died.  So they had been asking all types of questions about Jesus, heaven and dying.  He said that he had decided to take them to church on Easter Sunday so that maybe they could start to understand a little more about Jesus.  I hope they enjoyed it and they were able to learn about Jesus.

On a side note, we also took Bean to church on Easter Sunday but I'm afraid the only thing she learned about were the new yogurt treats I shoved in her diaper bag on the way out the door.  Thank goodness that Jesus is patient.

You gotta fight for your (undeserved) rights!

I am in a great discussion group where we chat about all types of things.  We have recently been discussing Passover and Easter and this post is taken from those discussions.

I was actually thinking this afternoon about religious holidays and I wondered well if I am an honorary Jew now, why don't I get Jewish holidays along with the Christian holidays off?

So I presented this thought to one of my bosses who is Jewish.  Here's how that conversation went:

PEON: I would like to present something to you about these Jewish holidays.  You know I am a Christian and you give me off all of the Christian holidays, even the ones that fall on Sundays.  (*snicker, snort*)  I believe I should be entitled to have off on the Jewish holidays, too.

THE MAN:  Why are you entitled to the Jewish ones, too?.

PEON:  Well I am a believer in God and I have accepted Jesus as my savior so in doing all of that, you become part of the tribe and you become an honorary Jew.

THE MAN:  You lost me at Jesus.

PEON:  Listen, this is what the Book says.

THE MAN:  What book?

PEON:  Duh, the Bible! I mean, I know you people only read up to a certain page in that one but really it says it in there.

THE MAN:  I have no knowledge of what part you're referring to.  Can you send me a PDF of what chapter you're talking about and I'll be happy to listen to your argument here?

So now I have to find the section in the Bible that adopts me into the faith, and I might have a shot.

If I spent as much time actually working as I do trying to aggravate this man, I might be a very productive worker.

All the bad moms raise your hands. *hand raised*

Okay, Bean is only 14 months old and I feel as though I've already ruined her.  Well, maybe not ruined her...yet.  But I do know that I've made my share of mistakes.  And this really surprises me.  I thought making mistakes would come later, that you had maybe the first two years to get used to being a Mommy before the guilt kicked in.  I was wrong.

I know, or at least I hope, that the mistakes that I've made aren't the world's worst ones.  I know that.  But still I sit here and think about these things and realizing what I should have done instead and it makes me feel bad.  I mean, why didn't I take people's advice?  I don't get any do-overs in Mommyhood.

You might wonder what are these horrible mistakes I've made.  Well, the first is Bean will not go to sleep or stay asleep without her bottle.  And yes, a bottle.  She won't consider making friends with any sippy cup I've introduced her to.  She smiles at them, plays with them and then WHAM, right on the floor and she's walking away.  But back to the bottle...she has to have a bottle to go to sleep.  If you try and take it from her, she wakes up and whines and whines.  She won't take a pacifier at all.  This bottle is her best friend and she LOVES her best friend.  She shouldn't sleep with a bottle because it can mess up her teeth and she needs to learn to self soothe herself without it.  And as long as she has this bottle, she will never fall in love with any sippy cup she meets.

The other huge mistake that I've made is that she still sleeps with us.  I hear this all the time from people..."you need to get her out of your bed".  I know!  I know I need to do that but I have to admit that I think she's there just as much for me as she is for herself.  I love cuddling up with her.  I know she's safe.  But I know she can't sleep there forever.  I know it's not fair to her or us.  I know all these things.  But that doesn't make changing them any better or easier.

Now that I've told you my major mistakes, I'm sure you're rolling your eyes and thinking I haven't seen anything yet.  I know that, too!  But these things still make me feel bad about my first shortcomings as a Mommy and make me wonder what I'm gonna mess up in the future.