Monday, June 22, 2009

Vacation's over - wah wah wah

Yep, my vacation is now over and I'm back to the grind of fulltime work. I can't explain to you how horrible I felt this morning having to leave Bean and go off to work. My heart broke all over again like it did the first day back from maternity leave. I wished I was independently wealthy so I could stay home with her. No, not even wealthy, just able to pay our bills each month and keep us clothed, covered, and fed.

But we're not so I have to turn my darling baby over to someone else each weekday morning and I have to walk heavy-hearted back to my car to start the long commute away from my child. I know what I am doing for her is the right thing because this is what we have to do right now, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just hope that one day she will understand why I had to do it and more than that, I hope one day, she will be in a better position so if she has her own child, she won't have to leave them if she doesn't want to. Good luck, Bean! I hope you'll have an easier time at mommyhood than I did.

1 comment:

  1. Awww, I'm sorry! I've always had to work, too....but was so overwhelmed with motherhood that it didn't bother me as bad to leave mine as it does some moms.

    I was lucky enough to be able to work part time while they were in school for several years, though, so after they started school, I was drop-off & pick-up mom, and there after school. Worked out well! Maybe you will get to at least cut your hours back one of these days.

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